Pity, Party of One

Why my life sucks right now...

As I was doing sit ups this morning, I noticed that each time I sat up, some weird alien like protrusion was poking through my belly... right at the site of one of the incisions from my recent appendectomy. Fast forward to now... post conversation with nurse-friend and hours of extensive google research... and I believe I have an incisional hernia.

Fucking great.

Most likely, this hernia was caused by me not allowing enough time for my incisions to heal before picking up my then 18 month old daughter. Because we all know that all you have to do is tell an 18 month old 'no' and they totally get it. So the sutures popped open and now my bowels are trying to poke through my stomach. Great. And sexy too.

Of course surgery sucks for anyone, I know this thankyouverymuch. So why is it extra sucktastic in my eyes? Well, so glad you asked!

First of all, this is all going to go down while my husband is on vacation. Which means the few weeks the three of us were going to spend some lovely quality time together as a family, the few weeks I have been looking forward to all year, the few weeks we were going to spend taking our daughter to all of the fabulous places the bay area has to offer since she is now old enough to enjoy them, are going to instead be spent by me recovering from the stupid surgery that didn't necessarily ever need to happen.

And getting pregnant? Well I guess we can scrap that idea for at least a month. Maybe more. Fucking awesome.

And just to make sure this experience is especially crapalicious, two days ago my parents offered to pay for plane tickets for me and Baby to visit them in Florida before I possibly have to start work again this coming fall. How nice would that be? A $free$ trip to Florida to hang out with my parents who will essentially spoil and entertain my daughter for a week or so while I am lounging by the pool, reading trashy celebrity magazines and sunning my muffin top. Well, I guess I won't fucking find out how nice that would be since it isn't going to fucking happen now. Did I mention I even found an affordable direct flight from NoCal to Florida? Yeah, that won't happen again any time this century.

Not in a good mood right now.